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The Next Time

crushed flower concrete Ola Blessed
     Once upon a time, Ola would cast her eyes on a beautiful man. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder abi? Ehn well for specific reasons, Ola would be attracted to this man's passion, drive, intellect, most times sincerity & concern, and most of all His relationship with His Creator.
     Not long afterwards, Ola's affection and admiration for the said man would sort of turn on her. Very abruptly, love would cause her not to see a speck of fault in this man. In fact, if you innocently tried to point out his imperfections to her, she would provide you with the excuses. Simultaneously, all of her faults seemed enlarged.
     She would tip toe around, as not to aggravate her new found love yet make sure he has a surplus of love and nitpick at every one of her faults as to change them. Quite obsessed she was... oh and if, just if that man presented any signs of tiredness of Ola, whether with good reason or not, the girl just sat down into depression. She would throw the biggest pity party you have ever seen! It was a unique party of a sort. By then Ola would have put said man on a pedestal high enough that she would plan, at the party, how to get his attention back. Even if it meant putting herself so low in her own eyes and included fasting and praying for 7 days and 7 nights. Ola would put in the werk, to make sure her prized possession returned.
-Welp-
Ola Blessed AyoKumbee Fly Black Girl

     Jesus has taken the wheel and that Ola has long gone! Unfortunately, I have done this for the few men I have decided to love. Then, I just thought I was the most complicated thing ever! I accepted the lie that I'm too much to deal with and too hot to handle. I mean, I do have a nasty side but c'mon, who doesn't? 
     I always hear about women who have reached "that point" where they can't tolerate nonsense anymore. It sounded like a mystical destination but low and behold, I have arrived there. I think the bus of knowing your self-worth and reconstructing your self-esteem brought me here after I got off of the bus of a few bad heartbreaks. However I got here, I am here.
     They always say, when in Rome do like Romans abi? But when you're in Rome and you're used to living in Australia, boy you will have a few mishaps. I'm here now, but every now and then I see the old Ola wanting to appear. It takes sometime but I sit her down and tell her why she can't stay here. Eventually she sees the light and packs her load... again. 
     Remember that awesome message by TD Jakes on Transformation I was telling ya about? Goodness, I tell ya I took NOTES! One of the many things he said that struck me was, "it takes time for an Awesome Man to be a Great Husband. Likewise it takes time for a lady to bring out the Wife in her." I was just like wow! Really? So practical but yet I'm very sure I missed that somewhere in my twenty-something years of living.
     This very night though, I realized how much of a rush for that perfection relationship I am always in!
I mean, 
Ola Says AyoKumbee My Goodness Nollywood OkinTV
take am easy!
Put me in traffic, make me wait in line for 15 minutes, take an extra hour making my food (this of course if I'm not starving), and yea, I can wait. But for some reason I have this crazy expectation for things coming together in my love life. Maybe because of the amount of hours and days I've spent fasting.
Whhaaaa?? I'm juss keeping it REALLY REAL!
Anywhoo, I'm really happy that I've realized this NOW. I have time to change it. If it just so happens that the said Mr. Imperfect Yet Perfect For Me, has already appeared and I've used one thing or another to chase him away, knowingly or unknowingly... that actually makes me kinda sad. At the same time, I'm chilling. 
What is mine is Mine and Will Not Pass me by!
One thing though, this Ola, knows her worth. I have realized I need to be way more patient, yet there's certain characteristics I know I can no longer handle. 
For instance, 
Impatience.
Whhhhaaaaa?? I'm being serious! lol 
I can get a lil over analytical at times. This will drive some people crazy. I know, trust I know. It takes a patient person to stick with me during those times. 
So chale, the next time I get into a relationship, I will take my time to assess what he's bringing to the table, what I'm bringing to the table, where we are and how do we get to make a delicious meal with all of our ingredients. Because what else I have realized is that many people are quite awesome... just not awesome for you, or me, or whatever.
There's no perfect person whatsoever. We are all human and all capable of making the worst of mistakes. We just hope and pray those things won't happen. As a couple some of us also look to God to help keep us because we do not trust ourselves. After all, we are human beings.
I must say, I always knew the types of characteristics/personalities I can not tolerate, but due to desperation, I tolerated them.
-sigh-
But nooo longer! Ola Blessed 2.0, as I've been referring to myself as of lately, just will not. I also can not will not put another soo high above myself. Sebi na the same Baba God create us all na? The good book says He created man and woman. He never talk am say He created some better than another. The next time, I will remember to keep loving me and keep my dignity! LOL
Chale, I have chased men... buh we'll talk about that another day.
I guess you can say over a long period of time, I have raised my standards and lowered my expectations...? Iono, that's for you to determine if you please. I'm going to bed!

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3 sentiments:

  1. Nice. It really pays to be patient but it is not easy. I can tell you that honestly. All my past relationships were as a result of impatience, and the after-effects are not good for self-esteem at all.

    Ehen... that being said, we want to know about the men you've chased. All of them

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    Replies
    1. LMBO!!! Chale, I have found trouble! Why must you know about all of them Muyo!!!! We'll see sha... I'm bound to share at least one or two. >_>

      as far as being patient, mehn it is not easy at all. My lack of tolerance for below-par behavior makes it worse. But if a guy is below-par in one area and doing pretty well in others, then I needs to chill! You know the whole 80:20 rule... yea. If only I had some kind of relax button, things would work out waaayyy better, a lot faster. Patience is learned tho. I'll get there, and now I've written another post >_<

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    2. I can't wait *rubs palms*

      And don't you worry, by the time Mr Right comes by, you would have attained that level of patience you aspire too. For now, everything situation you go through are just preparatory lessons

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Be kind, Speak ya mind!!! As in any great cafe, your feedback is always appreciated!

:)
Ola