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FIVE: Mockery Schmockery

"I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder.
Thy pow'r throughout the universe displayed."
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I stood there enjoying the beautiful melody. Love knows I love a great worship. Yet my mind kept wandering to what the evening will hold next... "God is not mocked." Oh really? That's what you have to tell me? What about when my bed isn't made & my sock is missing. Why don't you speak then? Besides, tonight I've already promised him my body. 


I hate going back on my word. 
And it's not like I don't want it.... That doesn't mean I love you any less Love.
"Ola, what are you doing?"
I'm just hanging out with a friend. Tharris all. In fact, make I call himself to get proper directions since I'm getting closer.
*picks up phone*
What?! LOL Are you serious? I'm on the middle of Lake Shore Drive after midnight, there's not a single car in sight, and you want to tell me I have no reception? Is this real?Did you really? Just to get my attention? I know You did this!
"Ola, my love, reconsider."
I can't.
I don't want to...
I know it's not right, but I want this.
I'm tired.
I'm sad.
I'm fighting depression.
Somebody wants me... why can't I enjoy the moment.
"At what expense? When will you let it all go?"
Someday, but not tonight.
*He finally picks up*
Ola: Yo, I'm at the light making a left...
Deji: Cool. You're almost here.
******
Olas Honestea Rehab
*****
I went to church that night because I thoroughly enjoy the presence of God. However, afterwards, I knew I was headed in a completely different direction. I think I made it home that night around 2am. My ma didn't even ask any questions. This dude was my kryptonite. I left his place feeling great physically,
but somehow I felt like I wanted to throw up from deep inside of me.
We had such great conversations and chemistry that it was just hard to say no. It wasn't always that I called him with an ulterior motive. We were really cool friends. Sometimes I honestly just wanted to chill, but somehow thing always took a turn down that same lane.
We actually didn't start like that... I was always attracted to him but there was a time we could just chill and just be boy & girl. Homies. We didn't agree so there was no falling in love with the guy, but mehn he stimulated my intellect. Honestly, I can even credit him for indirectly encouraging me to write in public forums. I had to write out my thoughts in order to have an accurate rebuttle for the next time we chilled.
Somewhere along the line, kryptonite became that crutch. When Franklin was not around, to him I would run. And it's funny now, but every time I would be on my way, His Spirit would speak so loud and clear.

This was the time in my life where I really learned the truth in the Living Word. 1 Cor 10:13-14 were made clear. 1 Peter 2:11 and Hebrews 12:1 were scriptures that could have saved my heart from breaking, if only I had heeded. It's funny because as humans we are often more times than not unsatisfied. We sometimes so willingly decide to go down the wrong path and break Love's heart in search of something, He's already planned and prepared for us. All that time spent doing the wrong thing only led to such heart break. 
Sin is soo sweet while we're living it, but afterwards it is ten times as bitter. It is easy to believe that we're invincible while we do things that mock God, but at the end of the day, the joke is on us. We reap from everything that we sow.
That was a lesson that I learned some years ago... from time to time I have to relearn it in different aspects of my life. 
I really try to remember that it's the renewing of the mind that brings about positive change and not just a end all be all grand slam of a lesson that gets the job done.

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Be kind, Speak ya mind!!! As in any great cafe, your feedback is always appreciated!

:)
Ola