In Chronicles Purple Ink Rehab Say Whhaa

FOUR: Happy Vals Day

Ola: Yo, what's up?!
Franklin: Hey, I lost my wallet and my phone is acting up. Sorry if I missed any of your calls. 
Ola: Yeaaa, you missed plenty of them. That's why I'm calling ya job.
Franklin: Oh, so what's up because I don't have much time to talk right now.
Ola: Sooo, are we making any plans for today?
Franklin: well considering the situation, I'm not sure what we can really do.
Ola: Well I don't mind, I juss wanna be with you. We can take a walk and I can cook... or we could check out some nearby Ma & Pops restaurant... Or we could just chill. My friends are going out, but honestly, I just want to be with you.
nah, I wasn't into hiding the thirst
Franklin: Well we'll see... I'll call you in a few when I get off.
2 anxious hours later
Ola: Yo aren't you getting off soon?
Franklin: Yes Ma'am... in about 10 minutes
Ola: Alrighty, I was calling for my update, you haven't called me yet.
Franklin: I'll come through but I need to swing by the house first.
Ola: a smile dawned in my voice Alright... I'm waiting.
It had been about a few weeks since I last seen him. He was busy. It was a few days since I had heard from him as well, but he swore he loved me. Why wouldn't he? I was always there.
A lot of anxious waiting transpired.
By this time, TemElectronica had shown up, eaten, and was getting ready for the party of the month.
Incoming Text: Yo, maybe you should just chill with your friends tonight. -Franklin
Outgoing Text: But I thought you were coming through? I've been waiting
Outgoing Text: Babe, it's Vals Day. We haven't seen each other in weeks. What's up? I told you I want to be with you today.
20 painful minutes pass which never brought a response back.
And then the tears began to rain. My voice, filled with pain, thundered and alerted TemElectronica to run into my room. She was familiar with the scene. My eyes reflected the despair she saw time and time again when Franklin stood me up. However the screaming and sobbing notified her this may just be the deepest pain yet. Taken aback, all she could do was hold me until my storm subsided, and make sure I had an unforgettable night at the party of the year... whether I wanted to go or not. Eventually, I did.
 TemElectronica, Nnennasty and I danced the night away. Moreover, that night I gave a whole new meaning to the Lil Wayne song "We Steady Mobbin" àWarning-before some of you google-Violent Content 

Dear Diary,
I can't put my finger on it.
I know something is wrong. I've been feeling this way since last night.
It's like this nondescript ache. I'm just sad. 
I know He told me to get rid of all these other guys I've been getting attention from, but this one is different.

Dear Diary,
I wish I could cry. I guess I really am strong. I see the progress I've made & I'm impressed by God. This week, I've just been out of it. I haven't been as motivated. I try to keep my joy but today, it has been tough. This is what I want. I thought some thing was forming. It just doesn't seem that way right now. I refuse to crumble or look at him as a source of joy. I gotta get out of this on my own.

There's a lump in my throat. The kind you feel when you’re fighting fears. My face isn't crying but my soul is. I wish I could cry. Maybe I'd feel better. The truth is I could be over exaggerating. Then again, there really hasn't been a bright side to this story. I keep reading & looking for clues extra meanings but it’s all the same. My spirit sporadically gets excited over the situation but my soul is sad. My emotions are not happy. I want a man to love me. True. Pure. And Holy love as a spouse.

I'm complete mehn. I'm a phenomenal woman, but like God told me, I'm still in process...

Dear Diary,
My crush, the one I did not want to completely cut off from my life and act as if never existed...
yea that one.
He's in a relationship.
Mysterious Ache Solved.
Thank you Intuition. Premonition. Holy Spirit.

It's a new chapter, a new page. I'm told greatness lies ahead of me but first I must conquer my flaws. My greatest distraction in this life has been love & sex. I've made some superbly stupid mistakes and I used to think my ugly past defined me, but now I find beauty in my battle scars. I will not photo shop the truth or make it more or less than what it is (@iamgenetics). I will not regret loving in permanent ink (Jasmine Mans). Why? Because, ALL things work for my good.
P.S. Last night, I asked God why I'm still single then this afternoon, that awkward classmate proposed to me. 
He was very serious.

and then this evening, that one dude from my childhood, who I never thought of dating but know we don't agree & therefore may not work... yea, he also proposed to me.
God's got jokes these days. I get it.
I'll keep waiting... gots no other better option.

Today's Date: 12-02-2013
Dear Diary,
A short film appeared in my facebook news feed today thanks to a wonderful friend. TemElectronica later tagged me, chuckled, and said there was a familiar scene... By the looks of the description it could only be my We Steady Mobbin/I-Hate-Every-Man-Not-Related-To-Me-Moment. 

::The Door::
Oh My Goodness.
Did. You. See. THAT!
Gabrielle Union just played me in a snippet of my past!
Mehn, that was TemElectronica that showed up at my door in that stunning red coat and and made Me go out that night!
And that was Me running to She Who Live's, played by Alfre Woodard, feet for wisdom!
Tell me you did NOT miss the part where Lady K took me out for brunch! She knows filling my stomach helps soothe my heart when it's breaking!
Yes! They decided to surprise me with a beautiful snippet of my past!
I wish they chose to feature Nnenasty, The Twin, The Ghanian, AC, PMay, Iya Ola and Love Guru as well. They all helped me with This Journey.
Big Cast I know...
I see why they decided to make it short.
But I must admit, it was a beautiful surprise from The Beloved to make me see this today. I'll admit, I ignored it at first, but I get it.
I really have grown.
I remember taking that last yet first defining moment... Deciding to put my leather gloves on, get messy, submit to Him, permit Him, and work with Him to fix me.
It was horrifying then, but mehn two years later... I'm soo happy I didn't give up.
2 hours later: Logs On to Facebook
Franklin is a father?!?!
Insert a loud laugh produced from the bottom of my belly and center of my soul
He looks like he's doing fabulous though!
#WellThen, #ImagineThat!
I'm very much happy for him! I'm also extravagantly joyful for me!
Dang! Even if I had all the money in the world and was married, I'm not ready for children!
Wow... wait... that could have been me, if I didn't make use of that definitive moment. 
Wait... is this a sequel? Is this what my present could have been?
Instead of being a phenomenal student, awesome blogger, annoying yet lovable daughter/cousin/friend... I could be an unprepared mother.
Wow, I didn't understand You then. I was frustrated, but obedient. I'm grateful that You love me. You got my back Always.

To 1st Rib
My future Valentine
-Date Unknown-
Where do I start from? 
I guess right now...
I'm joyful.
My stomach isn't in knots as I wait for you.
I am loving this life.
Yes, I have really bad days here and there, but I always remember they never last.
Apart from that, I'm at peace. There's not an ounce of doubt in my mind that you will outshine the previous. Yup. No, I can not say this day that I am certain that I know you, but I am joyfully confident that you are amazing. How? Well, if Love didn't put me on a path of exponential growth these last few years, I would be scared. You gotta admit the stats these days aren't in my favor, but there is A Love that Loves writing love stories. 
I'm sure ours will be beautiful.
In fact, as I write this, there's a subtle yet sweet smile on my face.
Babe, I am not worried. I'm not concerned.
I am sure your lovingly handsome self, is also on a path of growth and advancement.
One day, our loves will meet.

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