In Purple Ink

Down to the Six
Six Weeks
That's all that remains of a gift that was given to me.

I used up 46 weeks already.
After the 6 is up, I get a whole new batch of 52.
I'm Blessed.
Most times, when I'm down to the last six, I get anxious.
I start preparing for the new. 
Even though, I've never used the last six before, they just seem kind of stale. Ya know? They've been sitting here, waiting to be used.
This time,
this time I have decided to make a conscious effort to squeeze every last moment of the remaining six. I can't say that I have been the most responsible with the last six leading up to this one, but that's why it is a gift right?
But what if...?
What if every time I looked up at the sun, I saw just that. Is it rising or setting? What would I do with my time? Roll over and go back to sleep hoping that it's setting or get a head start on things? Yea, I like to sleep, but if I'm always sleeping? At what point will my melatonin peak to set my circadian alarm off and push me outta bed? It's time to get up. 2012 has been the most interesting gift. It possibly has given the most out of any year thus far.  My strength, courage, dignity, integrity... things I thought I could never get back. Not going back to that old thing, those addictions I thought I could never be free from. More than anything, I have proven a lot to myself. I'm grateful. Very. I am wiser. Much stronger, I am finally standing on my own. Maybe Even alone, but I am Standing.
Still Standing.
Still Fighting.
Still Smiling.
This gift is down to the six.
  Enjoying sleep is always a delightful option, but I'ma force myself up and do something new. Instead of calling it a sunset, I'll name it Sunrise.  But Let Us not forget how much I gave those 46 weeks. I give. It is my nature. I constantly find myself giving. Even when I do not want to. Even when it is not deserved, earned, petitioned. It can be a very tiring task to give, but I now know that is how I was created. It is something beyond my control, something I can't help. In turn this must also mean that a lot is coming to me. Someday. One day. Now. I am going to reap every good thing each day has to offer in these six weeks. 
As much as I give, I can never give as much as The Giver. Remember? Remember the promises He gave? Remember the ones that blossomed? Remember the ones that are still blooming? How about the ones that are still sprouting? Well, I've got six weeks. Six weeks to enjoy. Six weeks to admire. Six weeks to reap. Six weeks to bite into and plant more seeds. 
Just six weeks, until it is time to start again. 

"The Past and Future blind us to the Present. Burn with fire." Rumi

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